Dealing With Slut Marches: The Grand, Majestic Douchebag Parade

One fine day a few months back as I was out shopping for groceries I was suddenly arrested by a most god-awful sight: Out of nowhere swarms of sweaty, screeching & underclothed land-whales had invaded my presence. Armed with megaphones, bad makeup and thongs several sizes too small they were all around me screaming something about ‘how their “beautiful” bodies were not an invitation’ and ‘hands off’ etc.

I felt relieved and all too glad to oblige. For a moment there I had been in serious fear. Some of the more robust lasses had given me aggressively “seductive” glances while passing by. As a bloke I felt dirty, objectified, almost raped. Like a sex object, I could sense the hunger that emanated from the great writhing herd of harridans charming ladies.

“beautiful” ladies demonstrating for their rights to dress like sluts

Later as the stampede of shelephants had faded, I was left stunned, wildly gyrating and musing about what had just transpired. At first I could make neither heads nor tail of it. Later, after reading up on the topic, it slowly dawned to me that this bizarre event had been a demonstration for womens’ rights to dress like sluts – anywhere and any time – and be excused of all consequences of doing same. It was evident to me that women, logic and accountability were an oxymoron in themselves. Still, the absurdity of it all made it difficult to comprehend for me. For a while I convinced myself it had all been some strange and twisted, surreal dream.

However, after dwelling on matters further it finally became apparent to me that this madness was real. And then, finally, I was inspired: How better to combat hypocritical tarts and their crimes against aesthetics slut marches than to bring douchebags into the equation? After all douchebags are to sluts what flies are to shit: Wherever the one is, the other is not far. Definite symbiosis, Jin-Yang dynamics’ mandated attraction. Everybody knows sluts dig jerks. Everybody also knows jerks like nothing more than to plow the muff of any and all sluts they can find. Why not utilize this fundamental dynamic?

Man’s last hope

Imagine a concerted effort of some few cunning men. They find out when and where the next slut march is to take place. They pass on the info to all douchebags, jerks, a-holes, tossers and twats in the general area. These superb specimens of masculinity then gather in vicinity of the incumbent slut march, organize themselves and then engage in a counter demonstration (i.e. the grand, majestic douchebag parade).

What, then, will happen when swarms of bleating, mindless sluts meet hordes of swarthy, breying shmucks? In all likelihood a mass orgy. Thus the feminazi sluts’ message would be directly shot down, the problem nullified, the pussy pounded, the douchebag rewarded.

I call that a Win-Win.

All’s well that end’s well

Source & Inspiration: hotchickswithdouchebags.com


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3 comments on “Dealing With Slut Marches: The Grand, Majestic Douchebag Parade

  1. Greetings! Very helpful advice in this particular article!
    It is the little changes that make the most important changes.
    Thanks a lot for sharing!

  2. Oliver says:

    Wow that was strange. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after I clicked submit my comment
    didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again.
    Anyways, just wanted to say excellent blog!

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