Aight, here we go. In the ‘Manosphere’ the concept of the female rationalization hamster has long since been discussed and analyzed. Bluntly phrased, women are emotional creatures and these emotions determine their reality. Right. So first you have the emotion. Anger, lust, envy, penis envy, P.M.S., stress, gina tingling…whatev. Then this emotion compells the woman to action. It is at this crucial point that the hamster drive is activated. Notice how female decision making by and large takes place before critical mental analysis. That is not so say there is no intelectual activity whatsoever involved. A woman will spin all kinds of devious, elaborate schemes, gyrations, justifications and mental gymnastics at the tactical level…but only after the fundamental issue has been decided upon (by her emotions).
Righty right. This is the hamster. Imagine a hamster in a hamster wheel inside the head of a woman. This hamster wildly spins in its hamster wheel and rationalizes and rationalizes and rationalizes…even the absurdest of notions (ok, I had sex with about 4954823452 badboys last night but I’m not a slut because we had this wonderful emotional connection and it just happened and I was drunk so it doesn’t count, you cunt,…and anyways…exploring my sexuality is empowering, you sexist man-pig. I’m the victim here!). So far so confusing? Hell yeah! But wait…there’s more…’cause do you truly believe we’ve delved deep enough?
Bubba, the hamster is not in command. It’s just an executive public & interior relations agent of sorts. And the woman herself is also most certainly not in command. So who is? In a nutshell: the beaver. If the gina tingles and the beaver jingles a cascade of emotions errupt in the female brain and thus a mental rationalization chain reaction ensues (woman looking at ‘douche it to the max’ meathead walking by with his girlfriend. Beaver: Wow, that guy is hot. I want some of that ass! Hamster: Beaver you are such a crude and unromantic brute. I’m sure he’s a special guy, all sensitive and gentle behind that strong and manly facade. We should talk to him and save him from that terrible ugly slapper of a girlfriend of his. She doesn’t deserve him, he and me…it was simply meant to be, destiny! Woman (walks to the meathead, shows cleavage): “Hi my name is Sally, I was wondering…blabla“).
You got it? No? Well then think about Star Trek. Picture the Warp Drive. One moment the pink coated F.S.S. Love-You-Long-Time is chugging along merrily through normal space. Everything is just relaxed and groovy when suddenly some sinister, patriarchal and quite possibly sexist Klingons arrive. So what does Captain ‘Jingle-Bells’ She-Tard do? She fires up her Hamster-Warp Drive and the next thing you see are flashes, weird doppler effects and you find yourself in hyperspace with space-time all distorted and jumbled. You’re light years away from rationality and those evil, eeeevily judgmental Klingon caveman sexists. And it all makes sense. Because rationality is man-kind’s playing ground while femotional hyperspace is scary, alien, bizarrely schizophrenic and thus incomprehensible to the average dweeb. It’s hamster territory and without the proper skillset and instrumentarium you venture there at your own peril.
Bottomline: Men think with their penises, ok we already knew that. But women think with their beavers. This combined – time and again – leads to confusion, mutual loathing, fascination, ambivalent assholery, attraction,
sweaty & passionately dirty trysts flowery intercourse and, sometimes, relationships. I’m not entirely sure how fast these Hamster Drives go (how much rational space they can distort) once spun up but let’s say for the time being I’m going to posit the known speed limit (to man) is 1 Chels on the Hamster Scala.
Concluding question: does this all make women brilliant tacticians yet/and/or strategic imbeciles?
Res ipsa locquitor.